Gentlemen, This Could Be The End of the World… of Warcraft

After mysterious months away, here is a post. It is about the next WoW expansion. I hope it makes you vomit slightly in your mouth, like all the best things I do.

WHY CATACLYSM WILL ROXXORS BOXXORS

• Garbage stats are gone – Thanks Blizzard! We can now tell if gear is an upgrade by looking over the stats instead of looking up a dozen sources online, checking our spreadsheets and running simulators. Plus things like ArPen and AP and suchlike always felt like a hack job to cover up things basic stats couldn’t do. If you’ve fixed how basic stats worked then this is a great change.
• Levelling will be more fun – As things stand right now, Azeroth feels like being forced to do chores before you can eat your chocolate cake. The zones are boring, quests are still of the old “collect/kill 10″ variety and travelling is unpleasant, to say the least.
• Talents are finally talents – Instead of things you must take to DPS. Plus it’s another reason levelling will be more fun. 1% more Crit at Level 15 is boring and seemingly useless.
• Finally Azeroth is Finished – Pity it took FIVE FUCKING YEARS.

WHY CATACLYSM WILL SUCK GIANT MAN BOOBS

• Horde gets fucked over – Alliance gets Werewolves, we get annoying little green men. Goblins don’t even need a new model! It’s rumored that Cairne gets assassinated and that emo to jock cuntface Garrosh takes over from Thrall as Warchief. What the hell? Why play if I despise my own faction? And the worst part? While all this crap happens to the Horde, what upheavals hit the Alliance? That’s right. Jack shit.
• Awesome Stats are gone – Talk about making the game a bit too easy Blizz. Fuck you. BBQQ.
• How goddamn lazy – All you’ve done is remodelled the continents a bit and changed some quests. It’s still the same shit I’ve been looking at for 4 years.
• No new class to rape DKs with – I’m sick of being destroyed by Death Knights, where was the new Hero class to kill both of us?
• All my Alts feel Pointless – Might as well restart them.
• Goblins, WTF – We Hordies laugh at Gnomes for a reason. WE DON’T WANT THEM. Not even if you breed them with Orcs.
• Garrosh is still a dick 5 bullet points later – Enough said. God, I’ll fucking raid him.

More reasons when I remember them.

A BIG SHOUT OUT TO THE AUSTRALIAN GOVERNMENT

And that shout is “Fuck you, you backwards ignorant unthinking MORONS.”

In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll put it into simple words for you.

Australian retailers will no longer be allowed to sell unrated online games. If they try, it can mean a hefty fine or prison sentence. This basically means that you can no longer sell online only games in Australia, such as any MMO ever. And of course, the very nature of these games means that companies cannot apply for a classification for their games and keep selling them, because we all know that it is impossible to rate the actions of others online.

Isn’t it enough that Australians have to wait 6 months longer than everybody else for games and most of them are banned anyway, without the government preventing them from buying WoW expansions?

Fuck the Australian Classification Board. Fuck John Hatzistergo. And fuck the Government for having a government regulated system in any fucking case, and for pulling this out of thin air without warning.

Full story here.

ONLY SOME SORT OF LAZY IDIOT WOULD CALL THIS A POST

http://www.shariapetition.com/

Sign! Sign! Sign!

HORRIBLE NEWS

My Xbox broke. And it isn’t 3 red rings, so it still costs 50 quid to repair. Just great.

ZOMG WAT HAPPENED?!

Answer: MS Paint is the fucking devil. Don’t use it.

Coming soon: A review, maybe. What do you guys want to me to write?

SO YEAH, DEUS EX WAS AWESOME BTW

A visionary yet also useless machine? Perfect.

This better be the last fucking time I have to do this.

This time I’m putting all my links on a page instead. It will up soon.

Insert comments making fun of my inability to settle on a name or even a template here:

THIS POST IS ACTUALLY KIND OF IMPORTANT, IN THE SAME WAY CHANGING THE MARS BAR SLOGAN WAS IMPORTANT

I remembered that there is already a website called Video Games Suck (it blows, and they fail at games and humour, so i don’t want to risk getting confused with it, like I don’t want to risk venereal disease) so I need to CHANGE THE NAME of this NEVER UPDATED BLOG. I would like suggestions in the comments. Of course, you’ll either not comment at all, because I only have one reader who is James and a lazy bastard, or comment and make crap jokes, because you’re James and can’t even make cancer seem amusing.

You Are Supposed To Elucidate, Not Evangelize

We need to start firing some teachers.

We should no more be willing to talk about God when teaching the origin of life than we should be willing to talk about the Emission Theory or Phlogiston Theory. If a student asks you where God comes in? Give them detention for being a cheeky little shit. Alternatively, explain to them the inherent flaws with creationism (no evidence whatsoever, huge amounts of contradictory evidence) and tell them that wanting something to be true does not make it true – a lot of substantial verified evidence does.

Leave creationism to the R.E. teacher – who should teach it as Christianity.

AMGZ

Some sneaky bugger hacked and changed my url!

… no matter, it’s better, anyway. Plus I have the satisfaction of knowing NRT has a broken link until James can get back online and fix it.